Just Spit It Out
by m3la
Summary: Light confesses to L fic number eleventybillion. Plain fluff, some kind of standard AU situation.


**Well, I guess everyone needs one of these... But I haven't done much writing in quite a while and I need to practice anyway, so... This idea just popped into my head out of nowhere and I ended up writing it. (I know, I should be updating other things... .-.;;;)  
**

 **I find it hard to see Light being the type to confess unprovoked, completely of his own accord, but... if he did, I guess this is how I see it happening. :u  
Small note: Normally I call L 'Ryuuzaki' in Light's POV, but this is an AU situation where they have become close enough that he knows his real name.  
(Also I couldn't resist referencing that one thing Light's English voice actor did)  
**

* * *

"What was it you were waiting to tell me, Light-kun?"

L remained turned towards his screens as he finally asked the question. The expectant tone in his normally flat voice was not lost, and Light took one last quiet intake of breath as he tried to brace himself for what was to come.

He'd promised himself to finally stop being a coward and finally just say it if they both made it through this case, and now, they had. It was all over, and there was nothing else to occupy Light's mind at this moment, no more distractions - and he couldn't now risk his apprehension becoming a new one. There were no more excuses left to make.

 _...This is it._ "Ryuuzaki..." he carefully began, taking a few steps closer to the chair. "Yes, there's something I've been keeping from you... I wasn't sure how you would react at first... But I've finally made up my mind."

No movement from either of them, nothing but silence filling the room. Well, at least... nothing but silence, that was, if not for the obnoxious chewing noises.

"L," Light pinched at the bridge of his nose and sighed, "Put away the cake already."

Said chewing soon stopped. "Oh, sorry."

"This is serious to me, alright?"

L tilted his head. "...Was this really what you needed to say?"

" _No._ " Light paused, taking a moment to compose himself again before replying. "Now listen to me."

"I'm listening."

 _You'd better be, because I'm sure not going to repeat myself._

Swallowing his apprehension, Light clenched his hands into fists at his sides and exhaled deeply through his nose. "...Do you remember the time you told me I was your first friend?"

"...Yes."

"The same was always true for me... You were the first person I met who I could truly consider a friend. Who I... could finally let myself open up to. I always wanted you to know that. " He paused, the space between them now truly silent. It took a little more determination to continue, but he managed it, "But, over time... the truth is, you became more than just that to me."

One of L's hands betrayed a minuscule twitch as it gripped his knee.

"I realised I would go further for you than somebody would for a friend... And I'm sure you've realised that too by now, especially after what we've just been through - you know I'm more than willing to risk my life for your sake." Light steeled himself, closing his eyes. "Ryuuzaki... No, L - you... mean more to me than any friend could. What I'm trying to say is... I want you to understand how I feel now. That to me, you're... more important than anyone else... That's all."

Still, no response. Still, nothing but silence between them, making Light's hard-fought confidence crumble with every second that passed. This couldn't be a good reaction... No, this was the worst-case scenario he'd pictured over and over. L wasn't making even the slightest move.

 _I... shouldn't have said anything._ _ _I even tried to leave my meaning ambiguous! But he..._ Oh, god, when did I become such an idiot?! I should just leave now, just try and save face any way possible, there's no way he'll actually -_

"Light-kun." L's voice was a low murmur as he spoke; something lacking its usual edge. "If you have something to say, then you should say it clearly."

 _...What?_

Chest clenching with a mixture of fear and excitement, it was almost impossible for Light to stand as he comprehended those words. _It's clear I can't get this past him after all... No. I shouldn't be afraid. No matter his reaction, or whether or not he returns my feelings... I can't back out of this now, for my own sake. I promised myself I wouldn't be a coward. And the L I know wouldn't push me away just because of something like this... I told myself that enough times already.  
_

 _But... What am I supposed to say? I thought I had it figured out. But I had nothing planned past that. I never actually... I just wanted you to know how important you were to me, but now, you want to know the entire truth... I thought you would be satisfied just by hearing what I had to say before, but it seems I underestimated you again, L.  
_

 _'I like you', 'I love you'... Even 'I want you'... I could try any of them, but somehow, I know none would feel right... No matter how hard I think, I don't know anything that would.  
_

"I'm sorry, but..." Light breathed, "I don't... know how."

L's hands were gripping his knees hard now, and finally, after staying still as a statue for so long, he turned. His head moved just the slightest fraction - just enough to reveal the side of his face. And, to Light's surprise, the normally pale cheek that he could see underneath all that hair was _blushing,_ flushed a dark pink all the way down to his neck.

"Then," he softly replied, "show me instead."

Light's legs were suddenly heavier than stone as he tried to will himself to move, heart doing flips as he attempted and failed over and over to process what he just heard and saw. But the overwhelming realization that this was his chance, that he had a chance at _all_ and it was NOW instantly shook away his paralysis and he made his way closer and closer to the chair, each step feeling like an entire mile.

By the time he was there, L was staring straight ahead again, eyes hidden by his messy hair. But his flushed skin was still on full display; his strain evident in the way his lips were pressed together, how his muscles were all tensed and trembling.

It was, to say the least, the complete opposite of the calm L that Light thought he knew - but, most importantly, incredibly intriguing. And he'd managed to make him react like this; only him.

Slowly, gingerly, Light bent down a little to the other's level and placed his hand on the armrest of the chair. At last L turned to properly face him, but he looked down almost as soon as he made eye contact and started chewing on his thumb, cheeks flushing - if it were even possible - an even deeper colour. Light studied those black eyes he loved so much and this new side of them; lowered, clouded with a million different emotions at once - confusion, nervousness, hesitation, deliberation - and, as they flicked up to his own again - unmistakable desire.

Feeling his own body beginning to heat up, Light moved his hand and placed it on L's, lowering it away from his mouth. Slowly, he began to lean a little closer, heart pounding quicker and quicker, and placed his other hand on L's shoulder, both hands now meeting his warm, unfamiliar temperature; the feel of his skin, of his pulse.

Now looking clearly into Light's eyes, L's gaze was slowly draining of fear, instead now shining with curiosity, and he threaded his fingers together with the hand holding his own, giving it a small squeeze. Seeing and feeling L relax soon made Light relax too, and he smiled wholeheartedly as everything finally started to fall into place, as he realised all the fears eating at him for so long had been unfounded - and finally, bit by bit, he closed the gap between their faces.

It was only a simple, gentle brush of lips, something he'd done countless times with countless girls, an action that became as meaningless to him as breathing. But this time it was L; L's thin fingers tangling in his hair, L's warmth surrounding him, L's messy hair tickling his cheek, L's lips first tentatively, then shyly kissing him back, and now it was all he'd ever wanted. Light's last worry finally died its undignified death; his last paranoid doubt of his feelings being returned - unlike himself, this was something he knew L would never do if he didn't want to; if he had no reason to.

When they finally broke apart it was like stepping out of a dream, even though it had been so brief in reality. Left impossibly dazed, for the first time Light found himself unable to think. His body felt like it was on fire, and with slight embarrassment he realized by now he had to be blushing too. "...So, did I make myself clear?"

...Or, perhaps he was the only one blushing now, for that matter - because L was now looking straight back at him, expression now back to normal - save for the gleam in his eyes. And he slowly brought a finger to his lips, hiding the unmistakable beginnings of a smirk.

"I'm afraid I still don't fully understand. Light-kun will have to show me again."


End file.
